Tips for the Groom!

Note to groom: Print this out and hang it on your mirror.

Don’t forget to bring a change of clothing for the next day, so you don’t have to check out of the bridal suite in your tuxedo.

Hide your shoes! There is an embarrassing gag that your groomsmen may pull on you. They swipe your shoes and write HELP on the bottom of one and ME on the bottom of the other, so when you are kneeling in front of the alter, the whole congregation can read it.

Make a check list and write down everything you will need, things like wedding rings and license, shirt studs, a chandkerchief to offer your bride when she needs it (talk about bonus points!)

Get involved in the planning somehow. You will find that the groom is often excluded from most of the planning and shopping, but there is no tradition or any other good reason for this. Help your fiance with the stress by getting involved. When you look back on the ceremony you will remember that you worked on it together. You don’t have to help her shop for the gown (it is traditional that you not see the gown until the wedding) but you can help her look for a reception hall, caterer, and definitely don’t miss the cake tasting!

Start doing your own shopping 4 or 5 months before the big day. Ask your fiance to help you pick the proper style of tuxedo, depending on how formal she wants you to look. Your formalwear needs to be reserved several months before the wedding. Your bride will want your outfits to compliment each other, and you won’t know what her gown looks like, so you will need her input here.

Try not to shave with a razor before the wedding. Use an electric so you won’t have scratches or razor burns and shave just before the ceremony so you won’t be scratching her face with stubble.

For the cake cutting ceremony—forget about mashing cake into her face! This is an ugly custom that only tells your guests that you have no class! Do you really want to risk staining your bride’s gown?

Keep breath mints in your pocket. Start the day with a good breakfast and relax. Don’t wear cologne. You will be getting lots of hugs and the clean smell of soap and wedding flowers should be the only smell that your guests notice.

When you rent your tux, there are a few rules you must not forget:

• Make sure you have shirt studs for your tuxedo shirt. Don’t use the buttons that come on the shirt. There are slits next to the buttons so you can push the studs through. Only a waiter wears a tuxedo shirt without studs. James Bond wouldn’t be caught dead without the classy touch of shiny black studs. Do you want to look like a waiter or Mr. Bond?



• White tie and tails require white pearl studs. Black tie requires black onyx studs. If you wear a vest, it may cover most but not all of your shirt front. Only waiters wear a tux without a cummerbund or vest.



• Tuxedoes come in different styles depending on the time of day. The groomsmen sometimes wear vests that match or complement the color of the bridesmaids’ gowns.



• For a formal daytime wedding, the groom can ear a “morning suit”. This usually consists of a cutaway coat, striped trousers, white shirt with a wing collar, gray vest and an ascot or four-in-hand tie. The groom's attendants and both fathers should be similarly attired, though they often choose different ties from that of the groom.



• For an evening wedding (after 6) the groom traditionally wears a black, full dress tailcoat with pique shirt (pique is a sort of waffle pattern imprinted in the cloth), pique vest, and matching white pique bowtie. The rest of the men are dressed exactly the same, but the groom would wear a boutonniere to complement the bride’s bouquet.



• For a more contemporary after 6 look, the groom may wear a vest or tailcoat in a more modern pattern or color. The rest of the men typically dress the same. You and your bride should decide together whether to have a contemporary or traditional wedding. When in doubt, leave the decision up to the bride.



• You may have the groomsmen dressed slightly different than the groom to distinguish them in all the photographs. The groomsmen can wear different color vests or tie or cummerbund, usually coordinated with the bridesmaids gowns. Every man in the wedding party should wear the same shoes. Patent leather (shiny black) are the best choice and can be rented for the occasion.



• For an informal look, a black or white dinner jacket may be worn. Yes, a dinner jacket is considered informal. White tie and tails are considered formal. The dinner jacket may be white, but only in the Spring and Summer.



• Anyone who will feature prominently in the wedding photos should be formally dressed. This includes the groom’s father, the bride’s father, the groomsmen, the best man, and the ring bearer. Tuxedo shops carry formalwear down to a size 3!



• Give yourself ample time to make sure that your tuxedo fits properly, in case you need to exchange an item. The shop will measure everyone, so your groomsmen should each be responsible for showing up and getting measured. If the groom is in the military, he may choose to wear his uniform. If the groomsmen are also in the military they may also wear their uniforms. If the groomsmen are not all in the military it becomes the choice of the groom whether or not to wear a tuxedo and match the rest of the party or wear his uniform and set himself apart.

Don't forget a gift for your fiance. Put some thought into the gift because you can bet she's put plenty into yours. Find out what her taste in jewelry is--silver or gold, antique or modern. You can't miss with chandelier earrings, a tennis bracelet, or a necklace. Traditionally, this gift is something that will last forever like, jewelery. A women can never have too much jewelry.

Whatever you do, don't have your bachelor party the night before the wedding. Plan it for the weekend before. You need to feel really fresh and up for the wedding day. You need to look great in all the photos that will be taken.

It's the responsibility of the fiance and his family to organize the "Rehearsal Dinner". Call a nice restaurant and let them explain what you need to do.