Could You Become a Football Widow?

It's Super Bowl time again! All over the country desperate wives in sexy lingerie are ignored for large, sweaty linebackers. Women are overspending on weekend shopping trips because their husbands are glued to the television. Neglected children are forced to memorize volumes of sports statistics to get their fathers' attention. You may think that it can't happen to you. You may think your husband-to-be is a sane, normal human being with active hobbies and interests. Don't become complacent! All it takes is one male bonding session with the guys at the new office and you've lost him. Some men are more obvious. We've studied the problem and compiled a list of situations a woman should take as warning signs as she prepares for her ceremony. Here are the top ten signs you may become a football widow:

10. He tackles your cousin Ethel when she catches the bridal bouquet at the reception.

9. He wants to have the wedding ceremony at a tailgating party.

8. He proposed to you at a sports bar during half time.

7. He's demanding that your wedding party be dressed in the home team colors.

6. Instead of saying "I do," he says, "Hike!"

5. He wants to serve beer, pretzels, and nachos at the reception.

4. The girl that jumps out of the cake at his bachelor party is wearing a helmet, shoulder pads, and cleats.

3. Without telling you, he replaces the wedding rings you chose with replicas of Super Bowl rings.

2. At the end of the ceremony, he runs up to the altar, does a victory dance, and spikes your bridal bouquet.

And the #1 warning sign that you may become a football widow:

1. He keeps referring to your priest, minister, or rabbi as "Coach."